Savior
by Katy5219
Summary: That's what they do. They save each other. Canon. Veers off in S3. One-shot. Dedicated to Carla!


**AN:** Hey everyone! My first attempt at Stefan/Caroline. I love these two just as much as I love Damon/Elena, so I had to give it a shot. This is dedicated to the amazing Carla (TheQueenOfDrama), who has made brilliant graphics for both RSG and IYCAM. I know how much you love SC so I wanted to thank you somehow. Really, you are so cool. I hope you like this!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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><p>Caroline still remembers the indignation she felt when Bonnie called her a "Barbie doll with daddy issues" at her 16th birthday party. What, like it wasn't normal behavior to get drunk on shooters and flash a bunch of college boys? Bonnie was such a killjoy, though it wasn't as if Elena was any better.<p>

They were both so annoying with their perfect figures and perfect everything. No matter how hard she tries, her version of perfect falls short of theirs. She remembers how she used to spend hours studying herself in the mirror, wishing her eyes were a clear green like Bonnie's, or hoping her dieting would someday give her Elena's flawless figure.

Her wishes never came true. Her eyes are a dull blue and she can never get rid of that extra inch on her hips. Wishing for her dad to not leave her mom for a 20-something male model turned out to be useless as well. It doesn't matter though. She knows in her heart that good things come to those who are patient and persistent. At least she'd read it on a bumper sticker once.

On the first day back to school, she spots Elena and Bonnie huddled near Elena's locker. They're whispering, looking at Matt who is looking back at them with his sad puppy eyes. Caroline resists the urge scream like a leading heroine during a fantasy sequence, because she is better than that. She is poised. She is in control. She is certainly not jealous of every boy in town falling for Elena's Bambi eyes (gorgeous ones at that, making her plight even more horrific).

Taking a few deep breaths, she runs over and hugs Elena, but it all feels wrong. Her voice comes out stilted, her arms feel heavy, and she knows the other two girls notice. She can't blame them. Trying will only get her so far. She's a mere actor playing a part, but then again, isn't that what they're all doing?

Caroline exhales as she runs off, putting on a new face. A better face, one that speaks of sugar and spice, not to mention all things nice. It falls off quickly when she eyefucks the new kid. As he passes her in the hallway, she smiles to herself. He is perfect. Better than perfect. He is like Christmas and all the birthdays in the world wrapped up in one God-like body.

She learns everything she can about him. His name is Stefan Salvatore. Army brat. Gemini. Lives in the spooky house that she hates. His eyes are hazel, his lips form a perfect pout, and she wants to cry when he smiles. More so, she does find herself locked away in a bathroom stall when his perfect pouty lips curve upwards and smile at her best friend slash nemesis. Not surprising. Not like she expected anything more.

What is surprising is how fast things change. Damon is like a rollercoaster. Being with him is exhilarating and she finds herself breathless constantly. She can hardly keep track of how their relationship even began. All she remembers, ever, is the way he looks at her.

"Are you sure about him?" Bonnie asks her.

Caroline looks in the mirror, making sure the scarf around her neck is in place. She's not sure why. "I'm sure. He's perfect."

Damon is just that. Trying to please him becomes a sick obsession of hers. His kind of perfection needs to be matched, she finally has a proper life goal. So she begins to do various things, such as model her best clothes for him, ignoring the way he sneers at her low-rent taste. The more he disapproves, the more she tries, and the less interested he becomes.

When it's all over, she can only remember the rush she felt when he smiled at her. She wonders if it's the same rush Elena feels when Stefan smiles at her, after all they are brothers. As she stands in the middle of The Grill, willing herself not to cry, she knows it's not. She is sure Stefan has, nor ever will, call Elena any of the things Damon just called her. She gets drunk, more so than usual, and finds solace in Matt.

Matt. Such a nice guy. He feels safe and he feels familiar. She is done with relationships she can't explain, silly rivalry with the Mother Theresa of Mystic Falls, and trying to be something she isn't. She is the head cheerleader and she belongs together with the jock. It's as close as she'll ever get to perfection, it's picturesque.

"Game on", Katherine enunciates slowly. Those are the words ringing in her ears as she slowly asphyxiates and loses herself.

Caroline screams as her fangs come out. She remembers everything and nothing at once. She remembers her head colliding with asphalt and waking up in the hospital. She'd been surrounded by friends and flowers, her two favorite things. They had all been there to ooh and aah over her and she had loved every damn second of it.

Now she's all alone with visions of bloodsucking monsters filling her mind. It doesn't take long for her to realize that it's all true. Flashes of memories hit her at once. She sees herself writhing on a bed with Damon, she sees him attack her the morning after, she remembers his **fangs** (she starts crying) penetrating her skin after the Lockwood party...She's not sure, but she remembers someone petting her hair.

"Oh my God," She whispers as she looks into the mirror. There are thick veins forming beneath her eyes, her skin turning hard, her **fangs** (she cries harder) peeking through her lips.

She, Caroline Forbes, is a monster. Not one of the sparkly ones from the book she'll never admit to reading, but an actual monster. She is a vampire and no amount of fiction could've prepared her for this.

She can hear everything, see everything, feel everything. The sun burns her and she wants to rip Matt into tiny pieces as he brings her trays and trays of food that tastes like nothing. She hates herself, she hates Katherine, she just about hates everyone.

She takes it out on everyone too. On poor Matt, on not-so-poor Damon, and on the circus worker she has never seen before. As her fangs tear into the sensitive skin of his neck, she feels empowered. Drinking in his life source, she feels a purpose and a need that she has never felt before.

"I'm sorry," She whispers after her high has worn off and the body has grown cold.

When Damon raises the stake behind her back (she knows), she's prepared to die. At least she'll die young and without further embarrassment. Someone won't give her the satisfaction and she's not sure whether to beat them to a pulp with her hands or hug them for the rest of her very long undead life.

Elena is in front of her and she screams, letting her confusion get the best of her. Who is Katherine and why does Bambi 2.0 want her to life to be an even bigger mess than it already was?

"It's fine, Caroline, come with me," Stefan mutters to her.

Caroline raises her eyes to meet his. She's ashamed. How is it that he can block a stake from reaching her a half a dozen times and still look like a runway model? The shallow little girl inside her wants to cry and tell him to get lost. She doesn't need him. She has never needed anyone, and she shouldn't have to.

He wraps his arm around her waist and shields her once more as Damon comes for her with a stake. She lied, she needs him, him and Elena. Where Damon relents, Bonnie doesn't.

"Bonnie?" She asks hesitantly, her bloody mouth quivering as the other girl runs past her, visibly disgusted.

Just as her knees buckle and she loses the breath she doesn't need, strong arms wrap around her. This time she doesn't object as Stefan gently guides her inside the school. She's not sure when her tears turn into plain hyperventilation, but that's how she finds herself in front of a mirror again.

"I'm a murderer, I'm a monster," She tells herself. It is the truth and no amount of soap and tissues will wipe the blood off her. The face she is looking at is the face of a soulless killer, her real face. She has never seen a more real, visceral version of herself. All her flaws are staring back at her and it's more than even her masochistic nature can take.

She turns around violently, sitting down, swatting at his hands. She tells herself that she is hideous and he tells her to look at him. She fights until she realizes he won't give up. She raises her eyes to look into the pair that bewitched her months earlier, and she sees things in them. Acceptance. Mercy. Trust. Things she so desperately wants, but things she'll never get or ever has gotten.

Stefan's voice is smooth like honey when he whispers to her gently. Without even intending to, she lets herself be comforted by another soulless killer, because it's the only thing keeping her from shoving her hair brush through her chest.

"I promise you, I will not let anything happen to you." He caresses her cheek tenderly, both his eyes and his words lulling her into a state of total serenity. Dying right now wouldn't be the worst thing, she thinks.

When he finally lets her pull away from the embrace of his strong arms, she looks up at him and she is hopeful. Promises had never been for people like her. The flighty ones, the ones who supposedly never got hurt. No one promised her anything, and that meant no one could break her.

"Stefan, I just want you to know..." She begins awkwardly, not sure how to go about this conversation.

He places a finger against her lips and she freezes. Shaking his head, he gives her the most angelic smile she has ever seen.

"You can tell me later, it's not like we're getting any older." He says wryly, shrugging boyishly.

She giggles for the first time in a long time.

No matter how bad things get after that, they're never that bad again. She knows why, even if she doesn't express it out loud. It's because of him.

She plops down on to the couch dramatically. She glances at Damon's wet bar, but she can't find the energy to swoosh her way to the other side of the room just for a drink. Walking is for dorks and not something they partake in at Casa De Salvatore. At least that's what she keeps telling Stefan, who always tells her to remember her humanity. After that she blanks out, his speeches get a little long sometimes.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, walking into the room.

She spares him a glance, admiring the way his wife-beater hugs his body deliciously (it's not like Elena could take her these days), before sighing theatrically. "I broke up with Matt."

Stefan sits down beside her and touches her shoulder, before retracting his hand. They avoid physical contact mostly, that's only for when you've just been killed with a pillow and nearly gotten a wooden stick rammed through your torso.

"How was it?" He sounds all dark and brooding, and she wants to hit him.

"Seriously, Stefan?" She faces him, her arms flailing wildly. "That's your question? To answer it, it wasn't fun, just like nothing is these days! God, you are so insensitive!"

He cringes at the volume of her voice, before scanning the room for a possible escape route. She huffs and crosses her arms.

"You're supposed to be my friend," She mutters.

She knows she's being unfair, but she has a perverse need to test him. He made her a promise, now he needs to honor it or let her wither away in peace. Matt said he loved her, but that only got her so far after all.

"I don't think I'm very good at being your friend," He mutters in something akin to self-loathing. That is an emotion she recognizes and one she could never ignore.

Caroline dares to look at him and she feels it. She's not sure whether she feels sympathy, pity, or something between for the dead man sitting next to her, but the sight of him twiddling his thumbs awkwardly gets to her.

"You're not a bad friend." She relents with a sigh and a roll of her eyes.

Stefan turns to look at her and gives her a half smile. "Really?"

"Yes." She grits out.

"Can I get that in writing?"

"Stefan!" She slaps him over the head, completely ignoring the fact that he could rip off hers.

The corners of her mouth quirk upwards as he rubs the back of his head, groaning slightly. She knows he notices the change in her, the way he always notices everything about her.

"You should make it up to me." Caroline pouts a bit for added effect.

He chuckles softly and she smiles. He reads her like an open book and for the first time in her life, she doesn't consider that to be a bad thing. He doesn't yell at her, or call her names, or leave. He just stays and gives her what she needs, whether it be attention or kinship.

"How?" Stefan asks earnestly.

That's how Damon finds them two hours later playing Twister in his living room. It's the most fun she's ever had without taking her clothes off.

That's how they continue. She is a protege, a friend, and a confidante. He is a savior, a gentleman, and a shoulder to cry on. Full moon comes and goes, her friendship with Tyler withers away, and Elena is still set to be the sacrificial lamb on an altar of blood. She wants to laugh at the silliness of it all.

"Tyler's gone for good, huh?" Stefan asks, inspecting one of the stuffed animals on her bed.

Caroline shrugs as she applies more make up on to her skin. "Who knows."

"I think we should. Try to find out at least, Mason's pack might still be a threat."

She zips her boots up and looks at him exasperatedly. "Stop micromanaging. We have enough to worry about here without trying to find Tyler and his merry band of torture-happy mutts."

Her voice doesn't waver. For one thing, Tyler doesn't deserve her forgiveness. For another, she's failing math.

"Caroline," She hates the way he uses her name to his advantage. His tone is always full of faith in her doing the right thing.

"What do you want me to do?" She sighs.

"Just ask his mother if she knows anything."

Stefan stands up and comes to stand in front of her. Caroline nods. "Okay."

"Thank you."

"For what? I'm firmly on Team Elena, I am so on it." Caroline says with a bright smile, her pageant one.

"I know that." Is he smirking? She's not sure, this is new to her. "You've just..."

"What?" Her voice wavers. It's not her fault that he's the one person that can break her. That's the curse of relying on someone with your entire life, she muses.

"Grown into such an amazing, forgiving, self-sacrificing woman. Womanpire. Wompire. We'll work on the label later." He finishes his sentence awkwardly, cocking his head adorably.

She wants him to leave the room so she can squeal and jump on her bed like a crazy person. It's not fair that he can do this to her when no one else can.

"I don't know what to say to that." She's not even feigning modesty as usual. She's speechless and her mind is jello.

"We have time." Stefan remarks, the way he always likes to remind her of their eternal damnation. This time she doesn't mind. She thinks it would be nice, spending an eternity by his side.

That's how she comes to forgive Tyler, amidst warring original vampires and raging witches. If there's one thing she needs to believe in, it's friendship. Friendship that doesn't die, the kind that perseveres through anything.

After the funeral for Elena's aunt and uncle, Caroline spots him sitting alone on a bench. As she walks towards him, she sees him staring at his shoes. He doesn't look sad to her, just terribly confused.

She knows things will change, death does that, but it just makes her try that much harder. She'll just smile and clap her hands together, and she can make a difference.

"Hey, Stefan," She cringes at her own words. Why did she just say that?

"Hey, Caroline." He answers her wearily.

"Is everything okay?" Now she just wants to slap herself. Everything is not okay.

Stefan lets out a dry chuckle and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I'm not sure."

It's then that he properly turns to face her and grabs her hands between his. Caroline gasps slightly. They don't do this, ever. He looks at her with hesitation and fright, and she knows this is serious.

"Do you remember..." He tries to find the words, "What I told you about the bloodlust?"

She nods. She never forgets, his words ring in her ears each day, spurring her on. "That I have to fight it off, bury it."

"Exactly." He confirms grimly. "I need you to remember that. Even if I don't happen to be here, remember that."

Now she's officially scared. "Wait, what are you talking about? Are you going somewhere?"

Stefan shrugs helplessly, before twisting the family ring on his finger once. He stands up and looks down at her, giving her a slight smile.

"I don't know, Caroline."

As he walks off and leaves her sitting there, Caroline knows it's the end of something. At least it feels like goodbye, something that she thought she and Stefan would never face.

A few days later she knows it was just that. She remembers his words, determined to honor the last thing she promised him. So she fights it off, she buries it. No matter how much she misses him, no matter how much his absence makes her want to give up, she won't. He is gone, but he is still hers in her heart.

His departure brings back the old Caroline. The shallow one, the needy one, the one that is just too much. She focuses all her energy on planning parties, flirting with Tyler, and telling Elena to move on. She hates herself for all of it, but she stands tall.

Sleeping with Tyler proves to be an easy distraction. She throws him on to his bed, rips his clothes off, and has her way with him. Afterwards, he falls asleep as she cries silently beside him. She can't fight off her feelings now, and she can't bury her pain.

She's sickening. She is reduced to being a beefcake's one night stand once again, and she let it happen, because she is all alone and no one else will have her. There is no one there to tell her she is beautiful or worthy of happiness, because the only person...There is no one.

Caroline fluffs her hair out and adjusts the straps of her dress before slipping out of his room. It's sad that she is here once again, she feels disappointed in herself. Imagining what he would say if he saw her now doesn't help. Neither do the darts that collide with her back.

"Daddy, you can't change who I am," She cries helplessly.

"Yes, I can, remember this feeling." He answers her determinedly, and her pleas fall to deaf ears.

She screams as the smell of searing skin hits her nostrils, and she wants to retch despite her empty stomach. For the first time ever, she can't find a silver lining. What is the point when even her own father thinks she's wrong, that she's a disgusting monster?

"I promise you, I will not let anything happen to you," She mumbles to herself and laughs.

"What was that, sweetheart?" Her dad asks, crouching down to her level.

She smirks, though it comes off as a grimace, and lets her face change. "None of your goddamn business."

After her dad leaves town, she decides it's time to move on. Stefan was her friend and now he isn't. It's time to get new friends, settle into a new relationship, and have a brilliant senior year, even if it kills her. Again.

"Come on, Elena, it's time for you to get active again. Look, the cheerleading squad could really use you. And not just because Aimee Bradley was killed by your evil twin!"

Elena rolls her eyes. "I can't concentrate on that. Stefan is gone and I just...I need him back."

That deflates the wind in her sails. Leave it to her best friend to pull her back into her vampire mentor melancholy. "I know."

Elena narrows her eyes. "Do you?"

"What do you mean?" There is a hint of warning to her voice, she sounds lethal even to herself.

The brunette shrugs flippantly. "You haven't mentioned him once during the summer. I just thought you forgot about him, about what he did for you."

Caroline hears the accusation in her statement, and she can't blame her. "I did miss him, but he'd want me to be strong. To save myself for him. That's what I'm trying to do, and thinking about everything I had with him doesn't help."

Elena's molten doe eyes turn wide with sympathy and her arms envelope her. Caroline sighs and leans into the comforting embrace. This time when they hug, it feels natural, like they were born to be best friends, sisters even. In a way, all they've ever had is each other.

"Sometimes..." Elena whispers. "I feel jealous of what you had with him. We were in love, but we were never friends. I don't know if he ever truly let me in, you know? I want to believe that he'll come back, but I don't know that. I don't know anything."

She doesn't know what to say to that, so she hugs the human girl harder.

When Stefan does return, it's with metaphorical fireworks and literal bloodshed. Prank Night is ruined, much to her dismay, and her boyfriend is turned into a hybrid. For her, it's a no good very bad thing. For him, it's "The best thing ever", and she smiles at him reassuringly because that is what she does.

"How is she?" She asks after dialing the much too familiar number.

"Not good. She's sort of catatonic." Damon answers her with a sigh.

"Wait, what do you mean 'catatonic'?"

"Well, she saw Stefan and after that she's sort of just been...sitting there."

"Did you try poking her?"

"I'm not going to poke her, blondie." He growls into the receiver and Caroline cringes.

"Sorry." She shrugs. He never really did get her comedic relief. "Have you talked to Stefan?"

"Nope, can't say that I have. He's always been a dick, but now he's just..."

"You?" She cuts him off.

"No, Caroline." Damon sighs. "He's worse, just like I knew he would be. You should probably stay away for a while."

"Why?"

She wants to smack herself for asking that. How selfish can she get? Stefan has been gone for months, and she shares a life with all the people he nearly got killed tonight. Why is it that she still cares so much? After all, it's not like he sent her a post card from his ripper road show or anything. A post card would've been nice, she thinks.

"He's not stable right now, there's no telling what he'd do." Damon clarifies.

"But I'm his friend," She sounds needy again, "I can help him. He did it with me before, all he needs is someone who'll be there for him."

"I'd like to believe in your misguided optimism, but I'm a pro when it comes to Stefan's breakdowns. You can't just hit the stupid out of him, he needs to do it for himself. Until he decides to fight both the addiction and the compulsion, there's nothing we can do." He says.

"I think I need to try." For all her flaws, Caroline Forbes is not a quitter.

"I won't be there to save you."

"I know." She appreciates the warning. Besides, she doesn't need him to save her. Either she saves Stefan or Stefan saves himself. Those are the options and she will be happy with either outcome. All she wants is her friend back.

When she walks over to the boarding house, she finds it funny how the house no longer seems spooky to her. It's more like home. For every bad memory, there are ten good ones. Life might not be as simple as it used to be, but it's real. She's more herself as a vampire than she ever was as a human.

That's why it doesn't surprise her when she notices him with a shovel in the garden. He was always good at disposing evidence, she just never thought he'd be doing it for himself. The Stefan she knows is calm, cool, and collected, all the things she wanted to be before, but never could be.

"Caroline." He states as greeting. She grimaces. His voice is emotionless, and holds none of the playful tone he usually reserves just for her.

"Hey, Stefan." She waves at him and smiles uncomfortably. He looks like hell warmed over. His eyes are nearly black and his shirt is covered in blood.

He dumps the bloody corpse in the hole he dug up and smirks at her playfully. "How was your summer then, blondie?"

"Don't call me that, it doesn't suit you." She cocks her eyebrows at him. She wants to hug him and slap him, she's not sure which impulse is stronger.

"But it suits you!" He laughs hysterically. "Poor little Caroline. Do you have any idea how many blonde jokes one could get from you? Your entire existence is a joke. And seriously, what is with the jocks? Such a high school cliche, fitting since that's exactly what you are."

Caroline can't help, but laugh. "And you're a 162-year old vampire reliving high school just to moon over your lost love's doppelganger. If one of us is a joke, it's you."

He's being an ass and she's being a bitch, but she feels alive. Her whole body is humming for him, recognizing the kindred spirit in him. Even when he has her by the throat and pinned against a tree, she can't help but love it. Love him. Just like she has for as long as she has been dead.

The moment becomes charged all of a sudden, when he nuzzles her neck and presses himself against her. She sighs, both defeated and sated, because he still feels like home to her. The moment passes when he starts laughing against her skin again. As he raises his head and looks her in the eye, she doesn't see her Stefan. She sees a ghost, an empty shell.

"The difference between you and me, darling, is that I'm in on the joke." He whispers, only inches from her face.

Just as her eyes dart to his lips, he slams her head against the tree and whooshes inside the house. She slumps down with a groan. Maybe she really was a blonde joke in the making. Nevertheless, she picks herself up and looks over at the grave he left open.

She finishes the job for him.

"You've been hunting." She states as Tyler moves in for a kiss.

Since Homecoming, things have been getting gradually worse. Tyler is reverting back to the asshole he used to be, or always was, she can't keep track. Klaus broke his hold on Stefan, only for Stefan to choose not to feel anything. It's been three months now, and she's not sure if there is anything anyone can do to make things better. She's lost for ideas and can't seem to help anyone these days, no matter how hard she tries.

"No, I haven't." She wants to roll her eyes. She does.

"Cut the crap, I can smell her on you. Tyler, you need to get yourself under control. I can help you." It's the same speech she gives him every time, but she really is a terrible mentor.

"Like you're helping Stefan?" He crosses his arms. "Why are you so willing to clean up his messes, but you won't support your own boyfriend?"

"Because," She grits out, "My boyfriend is asking me to enable his self-destructive behavior. My friend, Stefan, is gone. I'm trying to make sure that when he comes back, he still has something to come back to."

"You care about him more than you care about me. He's your best friend's boyfriend, let Elena handle it!" Now he's yelling at her.

"I can't." She doesn't even raise her voice, because she doesn't feel the need to defend her answer.

"Why not?" His voice is accusing her of things, things she would rather not admit to herself. How could she ever tell him any of the things she feels for the other man?

Caroline shrugs. He grabs her by her shoulders and shakes her, shocking her. She thought they were past that by now, that she wasn't a rag doll to be thrown around.

"Answer me!"

She tosses him off her, pure rage driving her on. This has been coming for a long time."Because he is the only person on this planet to ever make me feel like I matter. The Stefan that was my friend was respectful, trustworthy and kind, and I'll never forget that. No matter what he does."

"And what about me then?" He tries to catch his breath. "What about us?"

She grabs her purse and smiles at him sadly. "I wanted there to be an us, but mostly, there's just you and there's me. We've never fit together, not really. Goodbye, Tyler."

It's blunt and it's quick, but it fits the mess that was their ill-fated relationship. As she walks further away from the Lockwood mansion, she can't help but think this is growing up. That doesn't mean there can't be drinks involved, she muses, as she compels the bartender at the Grill to hand her another shot. She needs to let loose.

"Where's your boy toy?" He whispers in her ear.

"Where's your girlfriend?"

Stefan shrugs nonchalantly. "She doesn't like me much these days. Said something about us needing time apart. I think it's for the best."

"I can imagine it'd be hard to date a mentally unstable serial killer." She snarls back before downing her shot.

He furrows his brows. "As opposed to dating a mentally stable serial killer like yourself?"

She rolls her eyes. "That's no picnic either, just ask Matt or Tyler."

"Ahh, so another one bites the dust then." Stefan smirks at her. "We should celebrate, pop a few necks open."

"I'm just wondering, how long is this going to last?" Caroline asks him.

"Whatever do you mean?"

Caroline shrugs. She's drunk and she's tired of justifying her mission to support his descent into darkness, both to herself and to others.

"Well, you're not compelled anymore." She manages to smile and drunkenly point her finger at him, and he swats her hand away. "You're not dating Elena anymore. Damon can barely look at you. What are you trying to accomplish? You're already alone, what else is there?"

"You're alone as well." He notes.

Caroline can't argue with that. "But I have friends. Your friends are either dead or giving up on you."

"You're not."

Caroline glares at him and he smiles. This is all his fault. She could've happily kept pretending she was happy with Tyler. She could still be a ditzy cheerleader and campaign for prom queen. She could be a good friend to Elena and tell her to be with Damon and be happy.

But she can't do any of those things, because as usual, he won't stop haunting her 24/7. Before his foray into ripping people apart, that had been a good thing, now it just pisses her off.

"I don't know if I can do the Lexi thing, you know. Torture you for a few decades just to get you back for a few years." She sighs.

"Isn't that what friends are for?"

She turns to look at him and raises her eyebrows in challenge. "That's what I used to think. But the fact is, your problem has never been self-control. It's self-loathing. You jump off the edge, because you like feeling like a worthless piece of shit. I know what that's like, but I'm not going to enable you by locking you up somewhere like an animal. The choice is yours. Either you get over it or leave, because you're not the Stefan I love."

"Love, huh?" Stefan laughs. "I should've guessed, you were always making moon eyes at me. Did I enable you then, by always choosing Elena over you?"

She looks at him in disgust. "Then why are you here ruining my night and not hers?"

He waves his hand casually. "She has Damon for that, and you were always my go-to girl for a fun night out. What do you say, bestie?"

"One condition."

He rolls his eyes. "What?"

"If you care about me at all at the end of the night, you'll let me in. You'll let me help you, the proper way."

He stares at her blankly for a moment, before waving for the bartender. "First round's on me."

After more than a few drinks, she's drunk and failing at pool. He stares at her from the corner of the room, laughing silently as she tries to hit the ball.

"Shut up," She mutters as she misses again. She's already lost close to a hundred bucks to him and he's still annoying as hell.

"You have to admit, you are pretty bad at this." He remarks, taking another sip of his beer.

"I'm just rusty, that's all. Besides, considering your age, you should be way better." She slurs at him.

"Since this is a night for introspection and retrospect, I have a question for you."

Caroline knows it's a bad idea to entertain him, but she's always been a glutton for punishment. "Shoot."

"When did you fall in love with me?" He asks her point blank.

"I never fell for you. I love you like a brother." She shrugs and takes a long sip of her drink. She doesn't want to face the fact that she is lying through her teeth. Honesty is a great policy for most situations, but lying is easier and a lot more fun.

"Really?" Stefan smiles, amused.

"Disappointed?" She asks huskily, loving the fact that she can tease him a bit. He might be unhinged and she might be drunk, but they're still Stefan and Caroline. They still work, and they will always fit.

"Not really. You've just gotten really bad at lying when I was away. How did you ever manage to fool Tyler into thinking you're the peppy little cheerleader of his dreams?" Now he's in her face, and worst of all, she doesn't mind.

"And you're telling me I'm not?" She whispers. She ignores the fact that he can still see right through her, it's just too much for her.

"No." He stares into her eyes with more intensity than anyone ever has. "You were always more."

She bites her lip, agonizing the decision, before she simply decides to throw caution to the wind. She kisses him, hard, harder than she has ever kissed anyone before. He wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her closer. It's wrong and it's right, and it's absolutely intoxicating.

When they get to his house (Damon's away, apparently, not that he'd even care), she wraps her legs around his waist. She has wanted him ever since the first day she saw him, and she can't fight it off and bury it anymore. If this is her last chance to find him again, she'll take it with a smile.

Especially when he slams her against a wall and bites her lip, because she's always loved pain. She guesses it's a vampire thing, since he gets off on her clawing at his back. Getting frustrated by his clothes being in the way, she rips his shirt off. It's been a year coming, she knows exactly what she's doing.

As does he when he throws her on to his bed. She guesses he never did that with Elena, and for once, she isn't jealous. Whichever version of him Elena ever had is not the one she wants. Neither is this one, of course, but it's a hell of a lot closer to it.

He tears at her clothes until she's lying beneath him wearing just her bra and panties. She doesn't feel insecure this time, for the first time in her life, because it's him and she's never had to hide from him. His eyes rake down her body and she doesn't pull her stomach in or push her breasts closer together. It isn't what he wants.

Stefan looks back up at her, and smiles, and she feels something in the pit of her stomach. Hope.

"I want you." Caroline whispers.

"Honesty. I like it." He breathes out.

She moves her hand down his firm abs, before letting it slip inside his pants. She moans. He is deliciously hard in her hands and she is unbearably needy. He tugs her panties down her legs slowly, and she kicks his side, because he is toying with her.

When she's finally bare and desperate for his touch, he only grazes her center with a finger and she curses him loud.

"God, Stefan, just..."

He smiles at her brightly and she's annoyed again. "What?"

"I just forgot how cute you could be."

Just as her mouth drops open at the impromptu compliment, he slams himself inside her, and she screams. She feels complete, like she's been missing a puzzle piece all this time. Him. He's the one, which is just plain tragic.

As he moves inside her, she feels the most exquisite pressure in her body, the kind she could easily get addicted to. She lets her nails rake down his back, and raises her hips to meet his thrusts. With each move of his body, she sinks deeper into the haze of pleasure, and all she can do is want more.

She goes from wanting more to taking more. Using her thighs, she flips them over and sinks down on his hard cock again, sheathing him inside her wet heat. Lowering herself down his body, she steals a kiss from him, before moving on top of him again.

He steadies her with a firm grip on her hips and she loves it. She is in control and adrift at once, her mind and body screaming different things at her. The moral dilemma is solved when he slips his hand between her wet folds and pinches her clit, and she screams once more.

The familiar curlings of lust take over the pit of her stomach and she comes hard as he thrusts into her hard and fast. He takes the opportunity to flip them over again, as he continues pounding into her through her orgasm. He comes just as she comes down, and they lie together in silence.

Stefan rolls off her and looks up at the ceiling in contemplation. She does the same, not knowing what else to do, or even who she's currently lying next to.

"Leave." His voice is emotionless.

If her heart could still beat, it would come to a halt now. "What?"

"Leave." Stefan repeats. "We had our fun, but it's over. Go play with the other kids, blondie."

Tears well up in her eyes and she feels sick. It's over then. He's still gone and she's an idiot, not that she's ever been anything but. She even broke the girl code and slept with her best friend's ex. Not to mention how she just broke up with Tyler approximately 10 minutes ago. She is a terrible person.

Caroline does what she always does. She gathers her clothes in shame, adjusting them back into place. This time it hurts more than ever before. This was never supposed to happen with him. He was supposed to hold her close, whisper sweet nothings into her ear, and pet her hair. He does none of those things, he simply stares at her, only adding to her humiliation. She's not sure if it's pity or regret in his eyes, but she doesn't care anymore.

Once it's time to put her shoes on and leave, she stops. Picking one of her shoes off the ground, she flings it at his head. It hits him, too, straight in the forehead, and it only makes her angrier, because he didn't care enough to dodge.

She's made up her mind. She doesn't want to hug him, she wants to slap him and she does. He finally looks her in the eye, taking in the sight of her tearstained face.

"You're a coward." She whispers.

"What?"

"I said you're a coward!" Caroline yells. "I used to admire you so much, the way you never gave up. But all you're doing right now is giving up. You gave up on everyone, including yourself. And I know there's some part in you that loves me back, but I'm done. You used me tonight, and that's the one thing I never thought you'd do."

"You liked it." Stefan answers her simply.

"Liked what? You treating me like I'm worthless, like I'm disposable? You told I'm more than that! Congratulations, you finally got me to give up on you. Goodbye, Stefan."

With that, she leaves his room and runs down the stairs barefoot. She needs to get out, that's all she knows. Tears spilling down her cheeks, she runs home using human speed. She doesn't care if someone sees her, hell, she deserves it.

When she gets home, she thanks her lucky stars that her mom is out on patrol. She doesn't want to talk, not to anyone. She just wants to forget and move on. Sometimes, patience and persistence will only get you hurt, she understands now.

Caroline walks over to her nightstand and looks at the pictures. There's one with her, Elena, and Bonnie from when they were all kids. She loves that picture, loves remembering a simpler time. Next to that picture, is another photo. One of her and Stefan.

She picks it up and rips it apart. The smiling faces were mocking her, they had it coming. Even after taking a shower, she still feels as disgusting as ever. Maybe that's all there is to life, her life at least. It's enough to make her want to give up. Enough to make her hungrier than ever. Maybe Stefan is the sane one.

That's how she ends up making out with her next meal at The Grill. Pushing the man, Todd or Ted, into the empty bathroom, she hears his blood singing out to her. God, she has missed it. It's pain and it's punishment, and she loved it. Before Stefan took it away from her, and hopped off the bandwagon. Asshole. In hindsight, she really was too harsh on Tyler.

Her face shifts and the man freezes in terror. She forces him to look at her as her pupils dilate.

"You're calm. You're safe. You're not going to yell."

The man nods, his eyes glazed over, and she lets her fangs come out. Just as they graze the man's neck, someone pulls her back.

Stefan places himself in front of the other man and compels him to leave, despite her protests. After the door closes once more, she hits him, hard.

"What is wrong with you?" Caroline cries. "You won't let me be happy, and you won't let me be miserable. Why won't you let me be?"

She pummels him with her fists, letting all her anger and frustration from the last 6 months out. Her knees buckle and he catches her before she hits the ground. She hates it, hates the way he is still perfect no matter how fucked up he is.

"I hate you." She sobs and keeps hitting his chest with her tiny fists. "You left me, and then you came back and destroyed me."

"I'm so sorry." He whispers to her, repeating it over and over for good measure. She's not sure if he's crying now, or if she's just hearing her own sobs.

Suddenly, she's so tired. She doesn't have the energy to smile and reassure anyone, not even herself. Like he told her before, her existence is a joke, a bad one at that. She leans against his upper body, not embracing him, but not rejecting him either.

"Why couldn't you just let me kill that guy?" Caroline asks, looking up at his desolate face with her bloodshot eyes.

His bottom lip quivers as he shrugs helplessly. "Because I couldn't. The only decent, pure, selfless thing I ever did was save you from yourself. If I let you go, there's nothing to show for me. Nothing to show that I was ever more than just a...Monster."

It's then that she tentatively puts her arms around his waist, and it's then that the dam breaks and he sobs against her shoulder. They fall down on to the floor, both crying and both equally damaged. As she cries, she can't help but think it's perfect.

She's a wreck and he's a mess, but they're anchored to each other now. She's equal parts his salvation and damnation, and she loves it. He cries as she traces the side of his face with her fingers, and she knows they're not okay. But for the first time in months, when she looks at him, she sees him. Her Stefan. Her best friend. Her savior.

That's enough for now, and as he cracks, she begins to heal.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> That's it, folks! Hope someone liked it, and if you did, I wouldn't mind a review ;) P.S. Working on updates for both RSG and IYCAM, I have a few pages written for both. xoxo


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